This March, more than 300 teachers have committed to daily writing. If you’d like to read more “slices” (from other teachers and even students), visit: twowritingteachers.wordpress.com/challenges.
Like many posts from others I've read this week during this challenge, this one was supposed to be about something else. But then life got in the way, throwing off my best-laid plans.
Yesterday I got word that someone I've come to care for deeply is very ill. This illness came on suddenly, so all who know her are reeling from the news. And of course, then feeling guilty that we worry about how this effects us instead of concentrating on her.
I haven't known D. for very long, a little over a year, so the depth of my feelings surprise me. I hadn't realized how much I had grown to love her, how deep our friendship had grown until presented with the possibility of losing her.
Right now, D. doesn't want people around her. She has to come to terms with this for herself. I know that I can't do anything for her at them moment. However, I also realize I need to take care of myself. I have to acknowledge that my feelings do matter, that I'm not being selfish in worrying about what this means for my life.
How to do this? Sometimes just taking care of mundane tasks can help. They help us feel like life can return to normal someday.
Last night, I had to go to the grocery store after work to pick up basic supplies. As I walked past the flower display, there were buckets filled with two of my favorite flowers: freesias and lilac. I knew what I needed to do for myself: buy them.
So today, every time I walk past my dining table, I stop to take in their lovely aroma, reminding me that there can sill be joy in life.
What a beautiful post. I agree that it is really important to honor how you're feeling and take care of you. Your slice really resonated with me. Wishing you the best.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and D as you both deal with this news and how you will support each other through this difficult time. Your feelings do matter. While it's happening to D, something is also happening in your life as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry - how lucky you are to have such a connection with this friend. Your point about her wanting to be alone is poignant - and taking care of yourself, by observing joy, is key to caring for her.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you received this news; and sorry to your good friend. It is important to keep joyful things around to get us through these times! Good for you for getting the flowers :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how we find out our true feelings....regardless of time and space? I'll be thinking of you and your friend. The flowers you picked up are lovely and sure to be a help in coming days.
ReplyDeleteYou beautifully expressed how as important as it is to worry and love your friend, it's equally important to take care of yourself. Continue that self care so that when she is ready for your support you'll be in a great place to offer it.
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